


Anywhere, I would've followed you

by ryankellycc



Series: Daichi Rarepair Week 2017 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood and Violence, Explicit Language, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Question Mark??, Storms, Yikes, all of my pirate knowledge comes from one piece, little bit of an Aladdin thing?, mermaid and siren lore, there's some love and stuff in here too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 03:39:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9860786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryankellycc/pseuds/ryankellycc
Summary: [Written for the seventh day of Daichi Rarepair Week!]“But he’s here,” Tanaka blurted out, “all the time.” Embarrassment flushed his face, but he needed to say it, and he rubbed the mermaid on his forearm for strength, as he had done his whole life... “He’s out there, I know, dead, but he’s here, too, like maybe a mermaid or something,” he muttered unintelligibly. “But I hear him, and see him and smell him, and it’s like he’s trying to get to me.”Nishinoya just listened, so Tanaka kept rambling, addicted to the release of finally letting it all out.“You know the stories we heard as kids, right? About how people who loved the ocean would die and come back as mermaids? Right? Pirates and navy assholes have seen ‘em, so maybe… Dai-, er, I mean, Captain could?”“I dunno man,” Nishinoya said warily. “Maybe you should see the doc.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Errrrr, I know the prompt was Merfolk AU, but I had an idea and couldn't get pirate Tanaka out of my head and yeah. So I'm sorry for failing the prompt, and for the death and violence and sadness, and for my gaping lack of ship/pirate knowledge. Erm. Hope you enjoy? 
> 
> Title from this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVgixOjGhVU).

It was easy to get lost in it, the endless expanse that mirrored the moon and the stars, only broken by its own movement, pieces of itself folding over each other and disappearing, to reappear.

The sea lapped softly below, out of sight, against expertly curved oak of the stern, like music to his ears, and the ship swayed slightly, pushed back and forth by the force of the water, like it all it ever wanted to do was rock you softly to sleep. Back and forth. Back and forth.

High in the sky, the moon shone above him, full and bright, creating shadows with the top rigging that danced with the sails and trip masts that towered above him. The light filtered down through the fabrics and grazed his body, lighting it in the dark. The mermaid on his arm, done well before he thought this life was possible, smiled serenely from her permanent place on his skin. He winked at her before closing his eyes and leaning against the starboard side of the ship.

He relished in the cool breeze that had just swept over the surface of the water and caressed his face. The shimmering sea, the gentle rocking, and the firm oak siding against the expanse of this back. It was his home. 

Someone scuffled behind him, but he didn’t have to open his eyes to know who approached. He knew everyone’s footsteps, their rates of breathing, the way they all tied knots and the way they filled cannons. Knowing your crew, trusting them, loving them, was how you stayed alive.

“Ya know it’s not your watch tonight, right?” Nishinoya asked, hoisting a sack over his shoulder, smudged with something that looked like polish. An apple escaped from the loose tie at the top and rolled to Tanaka’s feet. He picked it up, tossed it in the air with practiced ease, and took a comically large bite out of it. The crunch echoed around them and juice ran down his chin. 

“I know.” Tanaka said after he swallowed the swirling sweet apple in his mouth. Then, he chucked the apple at Nishinoya’s head and Nishinoya caught it right out of the air. “You just goin’ up now?”

Nishinoya adjusted the bag on his back again, this time with more care, and put the already gnawed fruit right back into the sack. Apples didn’t come cheap when you only saw land once or twice a month. “Yup. You goin’ down to quarters?”

Tanaka hummed, noncommittally as ever. 

“Well, cuz I love you like a brother and all, I feel like it’s my duty to warn you that Hinata and Kageyama are screaming at each other instead of sleeping.”

“Consider me warned,” Tanaka saluted. “Now git up there. Ya never know what’s coming.”

Nishinoya mimicked the gesture and started to climb the mast up to the crow’s nest. “Ain’t that the truth,” he said over his shoulder. 

Tanaka watched him climb. Nishinoya was light on his feet, making him a vital (and deadly) part of the crew, and he flew up the main mast, flashing Tanaka a big smile before climbing into the crow’s nest and closing the hatch, disappearing from view. The deck was silent again, except for the muffled shouts from deep below deck.

He picked a stubborn piece of apple skin from out of his teeth and put it back into his mouth. He glanced to his left, toward the door at the stern, stationed right underneath the hem, a little more stately than the rest of the doors on the ship. 

The stars shone through the rungs and lit up the edges of wood, Tanaka laughed to himself, thinking that maybe the wheel was happy for the break, when the anchor was safely sunk into the sand below. Then again, it had the pleasure of being under the Captain’s hands for a large part of the day, so maybe it wasn’t so keen on the break after all.

A light flickered in the window, next to the door in the corner of Tanaka’s eye, barely noticeable unless you were looking for it. When it flickered again, and then once more, he wiped as much of the sticky apple juice off his chin, and then wiped his hand on his pants. He reached up to pull the ties of his undershirt taught and straightened his vest before walking around the helm, locating the piece of thick rope in the moonlight, grabbing it tightly, and jumping off the side of the ship. 

His muscles burned as he pulled himself up, pushing off with his legs, until he reached the window at the end of the rope, cracked open just enough for the rope to hang. Tanaka pushed it open fully and shimmied through the frame, falling flat on his butt. He stretched his arms and rubbed his back, cursing the stupid window. Luckily, no one was there to see him fall that time.

The room around him was barely lit, but it was so familiar that Tanaka didn’t need it to hoist himself up and navigate his way around the furniture. He sat on the edge of the bed, palmed the sheets, and kicked off his boots to feel the carpet between his toes. One candle flickered from the top of a table, cleared except for a box of pens, ink, and a couple rolls of paper. 

Compared to other captain’s digs, the room was spartan. There were no paintings or gold or diamond necklaces or trunks of silk jackets. It wasn’t like Tanaka had ever seen another captain’s quarters, but he’d seen other captains during skirmishes and heard stories.

Water sloshed in the small room only accessible from inside the captain’s quarters. There was a dim light from under the door and Tanaka flopped down on the bed, resting his head on the pillow. He turned on his stomach and took a deep breath.

The smaller door opened and heat flooded the room. “Starting without me?”

Tanaka looked over his shoulder at the man in the doorway. “Not a chance, Captain.”

“I’ve told you a thousand times,” he chided, “in here, I’m just Daichi.”

“Dunno about that, Captain,” Tanaka chirped with what he considered his best shit-eating grin. 

Daichi rolled his eyes and turned around to re-enter the washroom, and Tanaka watched him walk out of view, pants low on his hips, untied, clean, tight in all the right places. Some captains wore flashy suits made of velvet or silk or some other shiny fabric that served zero purpose, but not their captain. Not his captain.

His captain wasn’t like that at all. His captain didn’t bother with senseless fabrics or needlessly shiny necklaces. 

Tanaka laid back down on the bed and stared at the paneled ceiling. His captain was efficient, capable, humble. The most handsome guy he had ever seen, and the deadliest. And he had the most comfortable bed on all the seven seas, Tanaka was convinced. Of course, he snorted, anything felt better than the hammocks in the crew’s quarters. And those hammocks were a helluva lot more comfortable than dirt floors and alleyways.

He pushed the thoughts from his mind. The last thing he wanted to think about while in his captain’s bed was the shitty life he had before joining the crew. Instead, he breathed in the sheets, the musky scent of sweat, the shaving lotion Tanaka nicked for him in the last town they docked at, some sort of wood and an herb? With a chick’s name. Kinoshita, their cook, kept telling him, but he could never remember. Didn’t matter. What mattered was that he wore it and it marked him. 

Daichi came out of the washing room, lit another candle, and Tanaka felt the bed dip as Daichi climbed in, nudging him with a strong knee to the back of his thigh. 

“That a smile?” Daichi whispered from behind him, slotting himself around Tanaka and tightening his grip on his waist.

“Definitely not,” he lied. 

Daichi laughed and Tanaka’s heart soared. He’d have to talk to Chikara, their doc, about bottling up that noise and keeping it close to him. There had to be something in all those books he read.

“You like me,” Daichi taunted.

Tanaka shrugged, pushing his back up against Daichi’s chest, firm like the oak of their ship. In response, Daichi pushed the collar of Tanaka’s shirt aside and kissed up the nape of his neck, making Tanaka shudder with each hot puff of breath. 

“Oh, so you’re just using me for my bed?” Daichi said between kisses. 

“What if I am?” Tanaka replied breathlessly, looking back over his shoulder. He caught Daichi’s eyes in the flickering candlelight. Warm like the earth, comforting despite their home on the sea.

Daichi pulled on Tanaka’s shoulder to turn him around. They shifted until they were facing each other, not five inches apart, and Daichi’s eyes darted all over Tanaka’s face before focusing on his mouth. He pretended to consider Tanaka’s question, stroking the stubble on his chin. “Then I guess I’d make you walk the plank. That would be a mercy for you, for taking advantage of the captain of this vessel.”

“You better watch it, Captain, people might think you’re gettin’ soft, showin’ me mercy like that,” Tanaka joked.

There was a moment of silence while Daichi considered Tanaka’s face, before he pulled him close and murmured into his neck. “I do like you,” he whispered.

Tanaka shut his eyes tightly and opened them again, like he used to do when he was a stupid kid who wanted to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Somehow, the calm contentedness that welled up inside him was overwhelming. He tried to laugh it away before it consumed him. “Damn, Captain, such a smooth-talker. That how you always get people into bed?”

Daichi pulled back and grabbed Tanaka by the shoulders, forcing him to look straight at him. Tanaka gulped. The intensity of his glare, less dark than the ones he gave those stupid enough to stand up to him but no less terrifying, seeped into every pore of Tanaka’s body and he thought he might’ve floated away if Daichi hadn’t been gripping him with white knuckles. 

“Just you,” Daichi said with a furrowed brow. “Always and only you, Ryuu.”

“Oh,” Tanaka’s breath hitched. “Yeah, you too. Captain. Always and only you.”

“Daichi.”

“Daichi,” Tanaka echoed. 

Daichi gave him a bright lop-sided smile, the one that he broke out when he was about to enjoy killing someone, or fuck him into the sheets, and it damn near took Tanaka’s breath away.

He had sworn his allegiance to this man years ago, and he would follow him to the ends of the earth, to the bottom of every ocean, but, luckily for him, there were only a couple inches between them, and Tanaka closed the distance with a wolfish grin.

* * *

The storm had come out of nowhere, taking everyone by surprise.

Only an hour before, Tsukishima had spotted the heavy clouds rolling toward them from the crow’s nest and the crew rushed into action to prepare the ship. Suga, their unofficial first mate, poured over maps and scanned his journal in his office next to the Captain’s quarters with Asahi, the navigator, while the captain split his time between going over routes with them and lending his crew the brute strength made him famous in some parts of the world. 

They had been through storms before, and the preparations were done quickly and efficiently, but nothing, no extra knots, no sturdier reinforcements, could have prepared them.

First, it was the wind. Then, the sky opened up, like the ocean had switched places with the clouds and dropped its entire weight on the unsuspecting world below. Lightning cracked all around them and the waves hit them like walls, opaque, unmovable, unforgiving and inhumane. 

No one had ever seen anything like it.

The ship keened to one side, lifted by the water, and then was struck down, and water poured onto the deck. Lightning had hit and splintered the main mast, and it crashed to the main deck with the sails and top rigging. Asahi and Tanaka pulled the rigging to steady it and panted as they tied knot after knot, desperately trying to maintain their footing as the ship rocked and the water pushed at their ankles. They both slipped and lost their grips, panting and blinded by the rain.

“Captain!” Tanaka shouted across the deck.

“Hold her steady!” Daichi shouted back from his place at the helm. 

Asahi tugged again across from Tanaka, and veins appeared in his forehead, underneath the hair plastered against his face, fear flashed in his eyes and Tanaka redoubled his efforts. Most of the crew was below with Suga, keeping the hatches closed and bailing out the water that accumulated through the cracks with each blow of the waves, but controlling the splintered mast was too much for two people.

“We need more people!” Tanaka bellowed. “We can’t hold much longer!”

Daichi gripped the helm. “Aye! Hold for a couple more seconds! Ryuu!” 

And in a couple seconds, Kageyama and Hinata appeared at Tanaka and Asahi’s side. Hinata looked green, and he was. From the rocking of the ship and inexperience. Tanaka showed him how to wrap the rope, where to plant his feet, and he pointed up to the mast, but, just as he did, the ship jerked suddenly and the mast came toward them, catching Hinata in the stomach and launching him across the ship. He grabbed a rope hook and smiled at them in relief. Then, there was another sudden jerk of the ship and he disappeared over the port side.

Asahi grabbed Kageyama with one hand to stop him from chasing him, but Tanaka ripped the coiled rope from his arm and sprinted across the deck with a free coil. Before he was able to jump over the side, however, a strong elbow knocked him to the floor and ripped the rope from his hand.

“Get back to the mast, idiot!”

And just like that, Tanaka watched their captain dive over the side of the ship, and everything went quiet. 

More people had come up from below deck and they helped Asahi and Kageyama secure the splintered wood, but Tanaka was glued to the side of the ship. Without taking his eyes off the water, he ran to rip the emergency ladder out of it’s place on the deck and secured it to a loop. He scanned the murky water and held his breath.

Two heads popped up and Tanaka screamed like his life depended on it. “Captain! The ladder!”

Daichi pushed the spot of orange toward the rope dangling from the side of the ship and Hinata clung to it, Daichi taking the spot below. Kageyama appeared at his side and helped Tanaka drag the rope ladder up, but it wasn’t easy work. Tanaka thanked the gods that it was raining, because it masked the tears that streamed down his face.

But, Tanaka should’ve known better. 

Another wall of water barrelled toward the ship, and Kageyama and Tanaka were now joined by Asahi, but they were too slow, or too weak, and there wouldn’t be enough time to pull up the ladder before the wave crashed into them. 

Tanaka looked down in horror at Daichi, a few rungs below Hinata, who looked back at him with those eyes, the big brown ones, the ones that Tanaka couldn’t deny anything. Still looking at him, Daichi let go of the ladder and vanished. 

He had vague memories of Hinata toppling over the side of the ship, the wave crashing over them, Asahi and Kageyama’s hands gripping him and he strained against them, his voice cutting through the rain, feral and unfamiliar.

“Captain!”

The water churned and his throat burned and the tears filled his eyes he choked as he screamed.

“Captain! No!”

His knees buckled under the weight of the crew members holding him down.

“Daichi!”

* * *

The events of the days following the storm blurred together in Tanaka’s mind, like someone had put them all in a bowl and mashed them together until they were nothing like the things they were originally.

There was the memorial overlooking the ocean. They sang. Suga spoke through tears. People patted him on the back. He might’ve said a few words, too, just to join the crew and keep up appearances, the joke being that his one true love was his own voice. He had to speak, but the words came from somewhere else and he didn’t remember any of them.

Hinata had cried, had apologized to him over and over with Kageyama at his side, grave as ever, and Tanaka told him, over and over, that it wasn’t his fault. That their Captain was a good man, that all Hinata had to do was work his damnedest to make their Captain proud. People looked at Tanaka, but he meant it. They were pirates, they lived every day understanding that it might be their last and they had been lucky to serve under such a man. 

Everyone lent a hand to clean up and inspect the ship for damages. The main mast was splintered beyond repair, so fixing anything was out of the question, and the discussions over meals and watches revolved around commandeering another ship, purchasing it with what little booty they had in the hold, or bartering with things far more precious. 

But fear hung in the air, almost as thick as the grief. 

They had all been at it long enough to know that word of a lost captain traveled fast, and broken ships faster, and it wouldn’t be long before rival crews figured out at the deadly Crow pirates were traveling on a fucked ship while their fearless captain slept at the bottom of Davy Jones’ locker.

There was talk of allied crews, of fighting, of surrendering their allegiance to save their necks. Tanaka kept silent, but he would never call someone else his captain, even if it meant his head, and he had a feeling the rest of the crew felt the same way.

* * *

One night, a week after the storm, Tanaka stood at the starboard side of the ship, looking into the ocean, quiet now, smug, like it was satisfied with what it took from them. The moon was covered in clouds, emitting just enough light to make the deck glow.

And then, there it was. The scent flooded his system suddenly, and he smelled it everywhere. He coughed like it was drowning him, and tears burned in his eyes as he tried to breathe. 

Castile soap, leather polish, gunpowder, not unusual for what they were, but then there was musk and shaving lotion, the one with the herb that had the chick’s name. The one Daichi had used every night. Tanaka’s heart raced and his breaths came in short punches. No, it wasn’t just the lotion, it was the lotion on Daichi’s skin, what he used to breathe in when his head was buried in Daichi’s neck. 

As quickly as the scent overpowered him, it faded, and Tanaka almost physically grabbed the air as he chased it, leaving him whimpering on the deck with fresh tears running down his face, his head in his hands. 

After that first time, Tanaka smelled it everywhere, especially when he was close to the ocean, on nights he had watch, when he got a free moment to hover by the side of the ship, when he took the boat out to test it, or inspect debris close to the ship. 

Then, after the smell, Tanaka started to taste him. Saltwater, bitter, a hint of the licorice Daichi insisted on eating. It was his only real vice, so unlike every other captain Tanaka had ever heard of, and Tanaka had teased him for it. ‘You could drink or chew tobacco like a normal pirate and all you do is gnaw on gross candy?’ Daichi would take a big chunk of the candy in his mouth, chew it sloppily and grab Tanaka for a wet kiss. 

He had continued to tease him for it, but the taste in his mouth meant that it had been on Daichi’s, and Tanaka had craved it. 

And now, he tasted it again, and, like the lotion, it wasn’t just the licorice, it was the way the candy tasted on Daichi’s lips. A cold sweat broke out across his forehead and he found himself pressed up against the window of the crew’s quarters, overlooking the water. 

The taste, the smell, they pulled him, toward the ocean, everywhere and nowhere, apart at the seams. 

Tanaka had to force food down every meal, force each sip of rum, each puff of tobacco. His stomached growled and he was weak, but how could he fill his mouth when already full of Daichi?

There was the taste, the smell, and then, when Tanaka closed his eyes, he saw him. It wasn’t a dream, because he didn’t sleep anymore, and he knew what dreams felt like. It wasn’t a dream because Daichi was there and he felt him, the callouses on his hands as they swirled up Tanaka’s back, the stubble on his cheek, the very real heat of the muscles corded across his chest, through his shoulders, down into his arms. The arms that held him back and helped him up and punched him in the head when he was being an idiot. 

He felt him and he heard him, whispering, telling him he loved him. Telling him that it would always be him, holding his face and repeating it until Tanaka couldn’t blush any harder.

When he opened his eyes, Daichi was gone, but Tanaka still felt him, the lingering ghost of a touch on his cheek, his hips, his hands.

One night, one of the many that pulled to the side of the ship, Tanaka leaned over the edge toward what called him, the ocean, the man he loved, and his eyes burned with tears that he didn’t know how to stop. Nishinoya followed him out and put a small, cold hand on his shoulder. 

“You okay buddy?” he asked.

Tanaka snorted in response and wiped his eyes.

“Yea, dumb question. Sorry.”

Tanaka ripped his eyes away from the ocean to look at Nishinoya, his closest mate, and was surprised to find that Nishinoya looked pale, gaunt even, and the bags under his eyes sagged down to his cheeks.

It was just so hard to see anything, anymore. He cleared his throat and returned Nishinoya’s gesture, patting the smaller man on the back. “‘S okay,” he croaked. 

“I can’t imagine what it’s like,” Nishinoya said quietly, almost under his breath. 

“Huh?” Tanaka grunted.

Nishinoya pursed his lips and scanned the sea. He didn’t look at Tanaka when he spoke. “Ryuu, man, we know.”

“Whaddya mean” Tanaka asked, his blood running cold. 

“C’mon,” Nishinoya groaned. Tanaka looked at him blankly. “You’re really gonna make me say it? We all knew you and the captain were fucking.”

Tanaka grabbed Nishinoya’s shirt and lifted him off the ground, not even trying to suppress the growl that ripped from his throat. “The fuck you mean, fucking?”

Nishinoya didn’t fight back, but matched Tanaka’s growl and stepped up to the challenge. “We all knew. Captain got all googly-eyed when you’d walk away, you sneaking out at night, it all added up.”

“You’re entering dangerous waters,” Tanaka hissed, his grip tightening on his friend’s shirt. “You think Captain just went around fucking people like animals?”

“Dude, chill the fuck out,” Nishinoya said, finally making a move to push Tanaka away, but he didn’t budge, and Nishinoya threw his arms up in defeat. “I suck with words, man. I know Cap was more than that, we all did, and with you it was more like,” he said sheepishly, “love and all that.”

Tanaka finally lowered him to the ground, but didn’t let go of Nishinoya’s shirt until he slapped Tanaka’s hand out of the way. 

“Fuck,” Tanaka whispered aloud, his voice cracking.

“And I’m telling you, it’s fine. We all think it’s fine. Even though Suga had to listen to you lovebirds all night, he knew that the next morning Captain would be in a good mood and let ‘im do whatever the fuck he wanted,” Nishinoya clicked his tongue. “But I brought it up because I can’t imagine what it’s like.”

Tanaka was having trouble processing all the new information, so much so that he barely caught the last part of Nishinoya’s train of thought. “What what’s like?”

“What it’s like to lose your person. Your one true love, or whatever.”

“It sucks,” Tanaka choked. He tried his best to laugh, but the sound just rattled in his chest. 

Nishinoya nodded. “And it sucks even more ‘cuz we need you in best form. Suga says we’re heading to waters with other crews ‘n shit, and with a fucked up ship and no captain…”

The words pierced Tanaka’s heart. “But he’s here,” Tanaka blurted out, “all the time.” Embarrassment flushed his face, but he needed to say it, and he rubbed the mermaid on his forearm, as he had done his whole life, she had been there for him... “He’s out there, I know, dead, but he’s here, too, like maybe a mermaid or something,” he muttered unintelligibly. “But I hear him, and see him and smell him, and it’s like he’s trying to get to me.”

Nishinoya just listened, so Tanaka kept rambling, addicted to the release of letting it out.

“You know the stories we heard as kids, right? About how people who loved the ocean would die and come back as mermaids? Right? Pirates and navy assholes have seen ‘em, so maybe… Dai-, er, I mean, Captain could?”

“I dunno man,” Nishinoya said warily. “Maybe you should see Doc.”

“Ya think? Does he know something about mermaids?”

“I dunno, dude, but you should talk to him anyway,” Nishinoya replied. “I’m gonna try to get some shut-eye, think about what I said, Ryuu. We need you.”

“Yeah, okay,” Tanaka nodded.

* * *

The next morning, Tanaka sat on the table in Ennoshita’s makeshift examination room. The metal surface was so cold that it bit into his skin right through his clothes, and when he shifted, the joints groaned under his weight. It was hard enough for him to sit still; the room had no windows and he could only hear the ocean indirectly, through the creaking and moaning of the wooden vessel. It was getting harder and harder to be away from it.

Since, according to Nishinoya, everyone knew about him and the Captain, Tanaka felt a little more at ease and told Ennoshita everything, about feeling Daichi when he closed his eyes, about hearing him on the ocean, smelling him and tasting him, about how he couldn’t bring himself to eat or sleep, about how real Daichi’s presence was, about his theory that Daichi had come back as a mermaid and was following the ship. 

Ennoshita looked up from a journal, where he had been scratching notes with black ink, and looked at him expectantly. Tanaka scratched the back of his head and finished. “Yuu thinks I’m goin’ crazy, Doc, and I’d be the first one to think it if it were anyone else. Honest.”

“Well, we’re all a little stir crazy,” Ennoshita responded. “It’s part of the grieving process.”

The thought of everyone on the crew tasting Daichi on their lips and feeling him on their skin made his own skin crawl, and he forced down the rage that boiled up inside him. “This..,” Tanaka motioned ineloquently to his body, “it’s happening to everyone?”

“No,” Ennoshita was quick to answer. “I’m just saying we all deal with death in different ways, especially when the person in question was,” Ennoshita steadied himself, “so valuable. And, in your case, you’re dealing with a whole other set of special circumstances, right?”

Tanaka looked at the floor and wrung his hands together. The words got all caught and jumbled up in his throat and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to answer, even if he wanted. Ennoshita picked up on Tanaka’s hesitation and closed his journal. “Why don’t you sit up straight and I’ll give you a once-over. It’s been awhile.”

So Tanaka did as he was told and took off his shirt, revealing the varied topography of his skin, scars of all sizes, burns, broken ribs, muscle. Ennoshita started to poke and prod and listen to his heartbeat and do another thousand things that Tanaka would never understand. 

“Remember when you first joined up?” Ennoshita asked with a smile, eyeing Tanaka’s wrist, still a little crooked. “You almost lost use of your hand because you wouldn’t let me touch you.”

Did he remember? Tanaka remembered the specific day, the time, the weather, the coordinates, what he ate, what he wore. It was the day that changed his life. “Course, I remember,” he mumbled.

“Why don’t you tell me about it?” Ennoshita asked. 

The day he joined the crew, Tanaka thought. The day he met Daichi.

For as far back as Tanaka could remember, he had nothing. No family, no house. Fuck, he didn’t even have shoes. No one wanted anything to do with him, out of fear or disgust, especially as he grew into his body, so he did what he could to survive. Stole, beat people, fought for money, dealt death blows when he thought it’d get him something extra. He sure as hell wasn’t proud of it, but he did what he had to do. 

That morning, he had been surprised to wake up. It had happened before, the being suprised, especially when he would go weeks without a real meal, drinking out of puddles and gathering scraps tossed out windows. He had gotten up and wobbled toward the market, thinking that he’d probably die on the way there, and, hell, even if he made it, he might’ve just died surrounded by all the food and goods and luxury he would never have. 

“Was hungry as fuck,” Tanaka said, trying to be nonchalant. “And some kids got in the way.”

“In the way?” 

Right before he got to the market, Tanaka passed by a small group of kids, too young to be hungry, too dirty for some to have considered human. The pain that threatened to rip Tanaka’s stomach in half turned into something else. Daichi had told him that he was a softie, that he had something called empathy. Tanaka hadn’t ever heard the word, to Daichi had written it on his skin with the tip of his finger. 

Back to the day, Tanaka had remembered wanting to walk by them so badly, to toss them aside like everyone else had done to him. But he couldn’t. 

“Yeah, in the way,” Tanaka snorted. “They were hungry and stupid and didn’t have a fucking soul in the world, so I got ‘em something to eat. No big deal.”

Ennoshita quirked a brow. “Not a big deal?”

“Nah.”

It had been a big deal, but there was no way Tanaka would admit it out loud. It was embarrassing. He had gotten to the market, ended up with a loaf of bread, and when he was handing it over to the kids, a big group of merchant thugs turned the corner. Tanaka was very familiar with their way of solving problems, so he picked up the kids and ran. He managed to stow the kids out of sight, but he didn’t get away as easily. 

The thugs got him, and Tanaka was weak, but he would never be so weak that he couldn’t fight back, and he flailed and landed a few lucky punches, but there were too many of them, and he was too hungry. They crushed his hand, the one he had stolen with, they said, and then they started to punish him in earnest.

“Then Daichi intervened?” 

“Yeah, he did.”

When Daichi had arrived onto the scene, Tanaka could barely hold his head up. He had noticed the blows of pain had stopped, though, and there was a new shadow in front of them. He had assumed it would be the person to give him the finishing blow, and he wasn’t going to go down without doing something, so he had looked up to sneer at the newcomer. 

But the guy standing there was no market thug. He had a jacket with shiny brass buttons and buckles on his shoes. A hat stood tall on his head, accentuated by two black feathers. Tanaka eyed the embroidery on his jacket, a crow with its wings spread, talons at the ready. It was a pirate’s crest. 

“And he saved your life?”

Tanaka had to laugh, a poor disguise for the sob lodged deep in his throat. “Captain did a lot of things he didn’t have to do, didn’t he?”

“He did,” Ennoshita said, his voice laced with melancholy. 

Daichi had stood in front of them, a group of merciless thugs, and had asked them to kindly step away from him, to which they laughed, and another blow landed right in the middle of Tanaka’s gut, knocking both the wind and another clot of blood out of his mouth. 

He asked them again to step away, and, instead of landing another blow on Tanaka, they pushed his face into the puddle of blood at his knees. Tanaka had looked up just in time to hear four shots and see Daichi and another guy, long gray hair, skinner than Daichi but with a glare that could bore holes through walls, guns out and smoking. Bodies had fallen around Tanaka, and he was sure he was next. 

The guy with silver hair, Suga, he learned, had spit on the corpses and told them that no one raised a fist to their captain without putting their life on the line, and Daichi had said something to him in a low voice, making him walk away while Daichi walked toward Tanaka, still kneeling on the ground. Tanaka braced himself for a shot, but Daichi had knelt down in front of him, and Tanaka would never forget the way his blood seeped into the captain’s white pants. 

Tanaka told him to fuck off, but he had just laughed and said something about his colorful language. Then he grabbed Tanaka’s chin and looked straight at him, something that Tanaka didn’t think anyone in his life had ever done, and told him that he had seen everything, the kids, the running, the stealing, the beating. Then he picked up Tanaka’s wrist, limp from the broken bones, and rubbed his thumb over his mermaid on his forearm. ‘You like the sea,’ he had asked. Tanaka had nodded, and spit out a mouthful of blood, as well as a tooth. ‘Then join my crew,’ he commanded. 

Tanaka had never taken orders from anyone in his life, but that day he swore an oath, got on a ship, and never looked back. 

“That asshole,” Tanaka said through tears. He had even realized he started crying. “Should’ve left me to die. Shoulda let me jump into the water,” he mumbled into the back of his hand. 

Ennoshita let him stay there, on the awful metal table, until he was ready to leave. “Try to eat, and get some sleep. If you can’t, come back tomorrow. Assuming we’re not dead,” Ennoshita said dryly. 

There was something about the way Ennoshita said it, with his dry sarcasm and morbid sense of humor, that made Tanaka laugh. It sounded foreign to him, like he was hearing it for the first time, and he had almost forgotten about why had had gone to Ennoshita in the first place. 

Almost, until he had left the room, and then the ocean called for him again.

* * *

“He’s a siren,” Nishinoya said sharply. He slammed a musty book down in front of Tanaka, the page open to a picture of a beautiful woman with bird legs and talons. “Captain’s not a mermaid, Ryuu. He’s a siren.”

Tanaka stared blankly at the book. “What’re you talking about? Man, you can’t read.”

“Neither can you,” Nishinoya slapped back. “But Asahi can, and he found this book in the Captain’s room.”

He continued to stare at the picture, but his head started to pound whenever he looked away from the ocean for too long. The past few days, he hadn’t even been able to leave the top deck. It was too painful to be away. “He’s not a siren,” Tanaka said, holding his head in his hands. “He ain’t singing.”

“Hinata was tellin’ me that he’s heard stories of sirens who don’t sing, who just, like, tempt people with what they want. And then I said that Daichi wouldn’t turn into a lady monster thing,” Nishinoya scoffed. “And then Yamaguchi said that there’s no proof of what sirens look like, so they could be anything.”

Tanaka tried to take a sip of the water that Ennoshita was forcing on him, but he spit it out back into the cup. “Daichi wouldn’t be a monster,” he rasped.

“That’s not what I’m saying. And Tsukishima told Yamaguchi that there’s an old tale about how mermaids are born from people who die and love the sea, but sirens are born when someone dies violently at sea. It makes sense. Even Kageyama agreed with him.”

“No,” Tanaka hit the table with as much force as he could muster. “Daichi’s… not a monster. Could never be. And that’s fucking treason.”

“You need to get away from the ocean,” Nishinoya said in a low voice. “Ryuu, you’re always here. You’re not eating. You’re not sleeping. Yeah, something’s calling you, but the call’s gonna get you killed.”

“Daichi’s not a monster, and I’m not gonna get killed by one,” Tanaka tried to reassure him.

“We gonna have to tie you up below, put you in the hold like prisoner?” Nishinoya joked. 

Tanaka gave him his most convincing smile. “You could try. I’ll still take all of you.”

“Alright buddy, just come down to the galley soon, yeah? Kinoshita’s making a fresh batch of that stew stuff you like.”

“Yeah,” Tanaka said. “I’ll be down.”

* * *

“It’s a stupid thing,” Tanaka whined. 

Daichi took off his jacket and hung it over the chair behind his desk. He took the hat off his head and placed it on the hook along the wall, right next to the big window that looked over the ocean. “Do I even want to know what you’re whining about this time?”

“Hey, I’m no whiner,” Tanaka huffed. 

“Then what are you doing right now?” Daichi asked, his lips tugged into a smug smile. 

Tanaka considered it with a smile of his own taking over the entire lower half of his face. “Whining.”

“You cocky bastard,” Daichi laughed. He untied the top of his shirt and the strings hung loosely over his chest, dangling on the desk as he leaned over it to make a note on one of the maps that had been spread out since his meeting with Asahi that morning. When he was finished, he capped the inkwell and joined Tanaka on the bed. “Well don’t leave me hanging, what’s stupid?” 

Tanaka looked away. “Love,” he said. “Love’s a stupid thing.”

“And why’s that?”

“It’s stupid for a pirate to fall in love,” Tanaka pointed out.

Daichi propped himself up on an elbow and cupped Tanaka’s cheek in his hand, running his thumb over his cheekbone. “Are you in love with me?”

Tanaka looked up at him, the ocean in the background, the swaying of the ship rocking them closer and closer together on the bed. “Yeah, Captain. I’m in love with you.”

“Good,” Daichi whispered. He rested his forehead against Tanaka’s. “Because I feel the same way. Always and forever you.”

* * *

Tanaka stood at the side of the ship. He shivered without a jacket, but didn’t feel cold. The ocean looked back at him, moving toward him and away from him, calm under the moon, silent as the grave. 

Daichi was everywhere, on the tip of his tongue, in every corner of his brain, in every swirling bit of the air around him. His hands were on every part of Tanaka’s body and the herbal scent of his skin wove into Tanaka’s own. 

The ship was solid beneath his feet, but the longer he stood, the harsher it became, and the solution came to him through the soft murmurs of the ocean stretched before him. 

All he had ever wanted to do was follow his Captain.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's all for now. Wow. A little sad to be finished, but stay tuned for more in the coming weeks. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! So many hearts!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://jellyryans.tumblr.com/) if ya want!


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